So what is it? No, not in general.... WHAT IS MINE????
This question is starting to plague me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am supposed to be here in Seminary, now. But what happens when I'm done? What will $13,000 of education be used for? Perhaps I need to evaluate this question seriously. Was God calling Courtney and I to move from Orlando to clear our debts, and our schedules, for a divine purpose? I believe he did. However, as much as I am learning and growing and enjoying seminary, will this be what I do for the next 4 years? Or, what will I do when I am finished?
Sometimes I need to get my thoughts out onto a peice of virtual-paper. One of the hardest things to leave behind in Orlando besides friends and family was worship. I haven't been apart of leading worship since we left. After tonight's David Crowder Concert, the longing to minister to people through music has become enough to make me explode. No, I don't want to be David Crowder. Yes, I want to have the impact on my generation that he is having. I don't know what all that entails, but I know where I have come from, and it is a bit frustrating to not see where the road is leading.
God's plans are perfect. Mine are not. Perhaps it is time to die to my plans so that I might live out His. What is tough about that is knowing when He has laid out the plans before you or when you have concated a playbook by yourself and called it 'inspired'.
3 comments:
yeah, i feel ya alex...
hope you're doing awesome!
miss ya:-P
~Lindsay Ranew
Two questions: 1) What is it that has made you know beyond a shadow of a doubt about seminary? Don't get me wrong - I'm really glad. I want to know what made you feel that way.
2) Are you and Scott Davis still talking about music? I assumed that that was what you were talking about the other day when I ran into ya'll.
I'm kinda dealing with the same issue in another sense, because I'm really wondering about the whole PhD road and struggling with what in the world I would get that degree in. I have to start thinking about it now, because it impacts what elective courses I take (and I'm coming to those soon). However - not to oversimplify - I do think that God is faithful and good in this moment in giving you a peace about seminary. I feel the same way, knowing that this is definitely where God has me right now, even though I really miss the Firehouse, friends, family, ministry, Merritt Island, Kountry Kitchen and huge chunks of ham in omelettes... We need to find a place like that around the 'Ville...
Alex, I definitely know what you're saying! Don't lose heart! And you're absolutely right, it is hard to know whether not the plan we think we're supposed to follow is from God or if it's from us and we call it "inspired." I never knew how to put it to words, but you did for me. That's where I try to stop thinking so stinkin much and allow God to rule my thoughts...easier said than done I'm sure of that. Anyhow, God will reveal His perfect plan for you and Courtney in His perfect time. Miss ya lots! By the way, I was watchin a friend of mine try to break dance and I thought of you and how you could totally kick his butt at it! : P
Christina
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